Eram ingandurat Mergeam pe drumul pe care mergeau si ceilalti oameni. Era singurul pe care il stiam. Nu ne salutam, nu ne puneam intrebari. Nici nu aveam timp sa-i observ. De multe ori se parea ca sunt pe o scara rulanta aglomerata unde desi doreai sa schimbi directia, nu aveai cum.
Totusi era un drum. Un drum plin cu oameni in mijlocul carora insa, te simteai singur. Nu am observat cine m-a imbrancit sau mi-a pus piedica. Durerea cazaturii , praful, usturimea, au intrerupt rutina de pana atunci.
M-am ridicat... si pentru prima oara am vazut destinatia drumului, a drumului pe care ma aflam , de fapt singurul de care stiam. Ca orice drum avea si un nume, dar era prima oara cand il vedeam:”Larga este calea ce duce la moarte si multi se afla pe ea.” M-am uitat in jur si eram singurul care se uita la ce era scris pe indicator. Eram singurul care s-a oprit sa vada asta. Desi era mult zgomot, s-a auzit ecoul vocii mele cand am strigat:”Nu vede nimeni ce scrie pe indicator?”
S-a auzit un vuiet care crestea in marime ca o avalansa. Ceva se prabusea in apropiere. Era viata mea de pana atunci, eram eu , cu faptele mele si bune si rele, erau zilele vietii mele , una dupa alta, de cand m-am nascut si pana am cazut pe drum. Erau atat de multe lucruri puse unele peste altele si care pareau bine aranjate , dar care s-au prabusit intr-o clipita. Am intins mana sa le pun la loc dar mi se scurgeau printre degete precum nisipul. Da, le vedeam. Da, erau acolo insa nu putem intelege de ce nu le mai puteam pune la loc? De ce s-au prabusit toate deodata? Totul s-a oprit in loc si totul parea fara sens.
Timpul a ramas mirat , ca si mine cand a vazut ca totul s-a risipit intr-o clipa. Pana atunci el s-a crezut important in vietile oamenilor si credea ca are raspuns la toate. “Timpul le va rezolva pe toate”, ziceau oamenii intre ei si el era foarte multumit de rolul lui. De cate ori oamenii se uitau la ceas, stia ca e in centrul atentiei si ca toate se invarteau in jurul lui. Nu, nu el se invartea asa cum credeau oamenii, ci toate se invarteau in jurul lui. Toate actiunile lor erau legate de el. Sa fi punctual, sa ai un orar in fiecare zi , sa traiesti clipa erau lucruri pe care fiii oamenilor le invatau de mici. Toate aceste lucruri treceau prin fata ochilor timpului, care ca si mine ramasese mut de uimire. Nu ma putea ajuta cu nimic si nici eu nu-l puteam ajuta cu nimic.
Suferinta ii slutise fata iar expresia:”Am petrecut un timp frumos impreuna”, nu se mai potrivea cu ceea ce vedeai la el acum. Nisipul s-a scurs din clepsidra crapata, iar timpul si-a dat sufletul.
- Nuuu! Am strigat din cauza disperarii.
- Te rugam sa nu ridici vocea in prezenta noastra. Nimic nu e mai zdrobitor ca atunci cand vezi o multime de persoane amenintatoare si avand degetul aratator indreptat spre tine. Semanau cu niste judecatori dar in acelasi timp cu niste pagini scrise. Nu pareau a avea indurare si,... desi taceau trimiteau mintii o gramada de acuzatii. Eram ca intr-o arena dupa o lupta intre gladiatori, inconjurat de zilele vietii mele imprastiate langa mine in nisispul scurs din clepsidra timpului. La baza tribunei era o inscriptie care spunea:”Este randuit omului sa moara o singura data, si dupa aceea vine judecata”. Era a doua oara cand vedeam cuvantul moarte scris pe ceva si m-iam dat seama ca… poate e pentru mine ......
Degetele de la maini au ramas intr-o pozitie chircita, dureroasa. Am realizat ca ma balaceam in noroiul existentei mele si nu era nicidecum un loc de pasune si verdeata._
Nu te poti salva singur si nici o religie din lume nu te poate salva. Poti citi despre salvare, dar ea vine printr-o persoana, singura ce o poate oferi. Afla asta in Ioan 3:16-18. Ce vei face? Ramane la latitudinea ta, El cand a fost sa aleaga intre El si tine, a ales sa moara in locul tau fara sa stea pe ganduri. Cati prieteni de felul acesta ai?
Cracked hourglass
I was thoughtful. I was on the road the other people were also on. It was the only one I knew. We did not greet each other, we did not ask each other questions. I did not even have time to notice them. Many times it seemed like I was on a crowded escalator where, although you wished to change direction, there was no way.
Nevertheless, it was a road. A road full of people, yet in the midst of whom you felt alone. I did not notice who pushed me or tripped me. The pain of the fall, the dust, the stinging, interrupted the routine up until then.
I got up ..... and for the first time I saw the destiny of the road, of the road I found myself on, in fact the only one I knew. Like any road, it also had a name, but it was the first time I was seeing it: “broad is the way that leads to death, and there are many who are on it”. I looked around and I was the only one who was looking at what was written on the signpost. I was the only one who stopped to see this. Although there was a lot of noise, the echo of my voice was heard when I cried out: “Does no one see what is written on the signpost?”.
A rumble was heard, which increased in magnitude like an avalanche. Something was collapsing nearby. It was my life up until then, it was me, with my good and bad deeds, it was the days of my life, one after another, from when I was born until I fell on the road. There were so many things placed one on top of the other and which seemed to be well arranged, but which collapsed in a moment. I stretched out my hand to put them back in place, but they were slipping through my hands like sand. Yes, I saw them. Yes, they were there, yet I could not understand why I was unable to put them back in place? Why did they all collapse at once? Everything stood still and everything seemed meaningless.
Time stood amazed, just like me, when it saw that everything was scattered in a moment. Up until then it thought itself important in people’s lives and thought it had the answer to everything. “Time will resolve everything”, people said among themselves and it was very pleased with its role. Whenever people looked at the clock, it knew it was in the centre of attention and that everything was revolving around it. No, it was not it which was revolving, as people thought, but everything was revolving around it. All their actions were bound to it. Being punctual, having a timetable each day, living for the moment, were things which the sons of men learned from when they were small. All these things were passing before the eyes of time, which like me had been left dumb with amazement. It could not help me with anything and I could not help it with anything.
Suffering had deformed its face and the expression, “We have spent a nice time together” no longer matched with what you saw in it now. The sand had run out of the cracked hourglass and time had given up its soul. “Nooo!” I cried out in desperation.
Please do not raise your voice in our presence. There is nothing more crushing than when you see a multitude of threatening people and having their pointing finger directed towards you. They looked like judges, but at the same time like written pages. They did not seem to have mercy and ..... although they were silent they sent to the mind a pile of accusations. It was like being in an arena after a fight between gladiators, surrounded by the days of my life scattered beside me in the sand which had run out of the hourglass of time. At the base of the rostrum there was an inscription which said, “It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgement”. It was the second time I was seeing the word “death” written on something and I realised that ..... perhaps it was for me ..... The fingers on my hands were left in a huddled, painful position. I realised that I was wallowing in the mire of my existence and that it was in no way a place of pasture and verdure.
Tradusa de David Wire
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